Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Okay, what else would you call a blog about the snow? Just be happy I didn't post me singing it. Don't worry, your sound card would have stopped working before you had to hear it. So, on to my thoughts, however brief, about snow as an adult...

The Adult in me says, "I have to drive. I hate snow." "It's cold and dangerous, I hate snow." "Best prepare for the worst, buy fuel for cooking (outside) and fill the truck with warm clothes and food. I hate snow."

The kid in me smiles and yells, "SNOW!!" "Woohoo!"

Okay, I just got back from walking the dog across the wild, windy tundra. Yak were migrating past the little church down the street. Neighbors were hunting caribou. I was toasty warm, in five layers of clothes and a ski-balaclava on my head. BUT, my eyes are frozen open. I've changed my mind. I'm adding "ski goggles" to my Christmas list.

Wait, I can almost blink.

The Costco Effect

What is this great scientific truth I've discovered? And why did I call it "The Costco Effect"? Answers to these questions and more, tonight. Stay tuned.

Most likely you've all noticed it. You walk into Costco. You see a microwave oven. It looks just like your old one at home. You buy it and take it home. Then comes the shock. The small microwave oven you bought has grown into a monster of a machine. It doesn't even fit on a regular size counter, much less where your old microwave sat. Miracle? Strange, growing phenomenon? Dr. Shrinker's device working in reverse?

No. You have experienced "the Costco Effect".

When in Costco, the items you pick up appear smaller than they really are. I've experienced it often. The microwave incident was mine. TVs have the same problem. Even frozen food, once you get them home, appear to have grown larger than any shelf in your freezer.

A few words of advice, before you go to Costco...

• Move away from the TV. A 60" TV will not fit at the foot of your bed, no matter how small it looks on the pallet.
• That pool table only looks like it will fit in the spare bedroom. Once you get it home, it won't even fit in your living room.
• That neat looking freestanding pool is not a wading pool. Once you get it home, this Olympic Pool won't even fit in your backyard.

Orion

Nothing is as incredible as looking up on a crystal clear night and seeing Orion. It's huge and majestic. It doesn't hang in the sky, it occupies the sky. It dominates.

Don't believe me? Look for yourself. On the next clear night (dress warm. It will be absolutely freezing), look toward the south. Find three stars in a row. This is Orion's belt. His hands are held over his head holding up his spear and shield. And, if it is really clear out, you can see his sword handing from his belt.

The bright star on the left side of the belt and down (it is to far away to be in the picture) is Sirius, his faithful dog that follows him across the sky. I can stand and just marvel, utterly content.

Okay, I'll talk about something more important next time. Or something funny. Or maybe just interesting. Mmm, don't count on it, though.

Kirk to Enterprise. Come in Enterprise.

Remember Star Trek, the original generation? Remember all the neat gadgets? So, let's take a look and see what Star Trek gadgets exist now...

1. Communicator. Hey, communicator, cell phone. Tomato, tomato.
2. Tricorder. Have you seen the mini-laptop at costco? It's the size of a portable DVD player.
3. Phaser. Stungun? Okay, that one's stretching it a bit far.
4. Instant food production. Microwave. I know, the Next Generation had a really cool food replicator. But the original heated up food in a fast cooker. Remember Kirk lamenting that they had to have spam in the shape of a turkey.
5. Flashdrives and floppy disks. What am I talking about? Don't you remember those little square things Spock plugged into the computers?
6. Flat screen monitors. Hey, our's are even better than Kirk's.

Those who know me, e-mail me anything I've forgotten.

What am I still looking forward to?

1. Transporter. I hate driving. Flying is worse. What a waste of time.
2. Replicator. Make anything I want. Huh, the IRS will still find a way to tax it.
3. No. Wait. Holo-suites. I want to fly in a spitfire over the english channel. I want to fight along side Robin Hood.

Hmmm, there's an idea for another blog. What movie would you want to play a part in, should it be replicated in on a holodeck?

Halloween

Okay, first a true ghost story...

Last night, after the kids were asleep, while I watched the new Indiana Jones movie, I heard one of the kids walk up the stairs to my bedroom. Since my wife and I were still awake, I wondered why they didn't just come into the living room. When I went to look, both of them were still asleep. Didn't find anyone.

Tonight, I wandered into the kitchen to get some dinner while my wife and kids are at the Halloween party at church and found the back door open. I probably just forgot to close it earlier. Right?

right?

Okay, on with todays blog. My theme is Halloween and the subject is "the scariest movies of all time." So, below is the 10 movies I found to be the scariest. Those who know me, send me an e-mail of your scariest movies. So, in no particular order...

1. Poltergeist. In particular, that awful (great) scene with the toy clown, that isn't behind the kid, and then is.
2. The Mist. The black and white format was very tense, and the ending horrified me. This one actually produced a sleepless night.
3. Mrs Doubtfire. Hey, is there anything scarier than Robin Williams in a dress? Okay, that one was just for fun.
4. The Blair Witch Project. The unknown, while alone in the dark woods. Need I say more?
5. Alien. Dark ship. Unknown killing creature. people keep wandering off alone. (What's that all about? Surely hundreds of years in the future, there have been enough horror movies so that people stop wandering around alone. In the dark. After others have dissappeared.
6. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Okay, the 1978 version, not the campy 50s version. By the end all hope is lost and you have no idea who to trust. Kind of like high school.
7. Halloween. The scariest of all slasher movies. The only decent one ever made (Hey, I just call them like I see them).
8. Cape Fear. The 1962 edition, not the 1991 remake.
9. When a Stranger Calls. "He's in the house. The call is coming from inside of the house." Dang.
10. Bigfoot, the Mysterious Monster. Okay, this scene (follow the link) scared me to death when I was 9.
11. The Shining. Okay, I was only going to have 10, but this one needed an honorable mention.

Scary movies I haven't seen, but I'm thinking about watching...

1. Jaws. Yeah, yeah, I know. I've only had like 35 years to watch it. Hey, give me time.
2. Rec. Dang, this one looks creepy.

Happy Halloween everyone.