Things I've Learned Recently

Below is a list of things I have learned recently...

1. If you are about to have an important party, it really annoys your wife if you burn out the blender motor and stink up the house.
2. Cat pee can ruin your printer.
3. If Spiderman suddenly shows up at a kid's party, the kids can become deafening. (And my five-year-old daughter will hide).
4. If you study history, you realize your life could be a lot worse. (You really don't want to be a slave in ancient Rome or Greece).
5. Dog's like to walk, no matter the temperature outside.
6. If your dog eats bird seed, cleaning up dog poop becomes a disgusting chore. Um, okay, more disgusting.
7. Laundry doesn't fold itself, even if you wait a long time. (But I'm willing to give it another chance).
8. Just because you are fixing something, doesn't mean your kids aren't breaking something else. Right now.

Just a few insights. Take them as truth.

Winter has arrived

It’s winter. All the signs of winter in the Pacific Northwest are in the air. Sure, I know, there are nature signs all over the place. The trees are bare, the fog rolls in, the temperature drops and all that. But the real signs of winter in the Northwest, are a bit more apparent…

1. People’s eyes roll back and their fingertips tremble at the S word (“snow” but don’t say it too loud. You’ll cause a panic).
2. I slip and fall on the ice in my frozen yard, on my way to the car.
3. The windows need scraping on that car, once I get back up.
4. The dog doesn’t want to go outside in the cold to go potty.
5. The dog DOES want to go outside in the cold for a walk. (Apparently, it’s okay to freeze her toes off as long as mine are frozen off as well).
6. My wife has cabin fever and is ready to go. ANYWHERE away from home.
7. I willingly wear a stocking cap.
8. My kids lose their __(fill in the blank)_ at various schools, churches, houses and stores. The blank may contain any or all of the following words: Coat. Hat. Glove. Both gloves. Boots. Sweater. Scarf. Head (no, wait, that’s attached).
9. My cat prefers to stay in the warm bed rather than get up and eat in the morning. (You can tell. She isn’t up batting at my face).
10. The “pass” becomes “unpassable”.
11. The temperature reaching 32 degrees indicates it has gotten warmer.
12. And, the number one sign that it is winter. I can actually hear money burning in my oil furnace.