Junk, junk, junk

Someone said something yesterday that made me think. (Yeah, yeah, I know. "Wow, something made you think?" Okay, shut up). We were talking about how many toys kids have nowadays. It's an old discussion, that's been used generation after generation.

"Back in my day, we didn't have (whatever new technology). We made due with dirt."

And, of course, while I looked at the toy boxes in my kids' room, I thought to myself, as my parents did when I was young, "Wow, I never had this many toys." But...

Here's the thing. We always look at kids and go, "In my day." But let's look at current adult technology.

I live in an older house. The main floor is only 900 square feet. I've heard many people, while looking for a house, say "there is no way we could fit into a 2000 square foot house". Now the average house has become 3000 square feet. So why have our houses tripled in size? Do we have more kids? No, less actually, on average. So what is it?

More stuff. And not just more toys. Let's start a list...

Television. In the 1920's, there was one radio, it was big and it sat in the living room. In the 1950's, there was one TV, it was big and it sat in the living room. During the 1970's and 1980's, our culture began to add TVs. Usually there was one big one in the living room, while two small ones were added, normally to a master bedroom and to a family room. Then came today. The TV in the living room is often no longer big. It is enormous. And the multiple (and I do mean multiple) TVs are no smaller than 13 inches each. Some people even a have a room devoted to one giant TV.

Kitchen. Okay, I'm about to move into a sacred area, gadget speaking. Our grandparents could say, "In my day, I had to stir my own ingredients." Today, we have a blender, and a mixer, and maybe even a handheld mixer. We have to have machines stir our food. No wonder Americans are getting fat. We have a "coffee maker", a machine devoted to one job, making coffee. We can't be bothered with putting a perculator onto a stove and turning the stove on. We have one machine that sits there, taking up more space then a perculator, and makes coffee. Nothing else.

In the old days, there were ice boxes, they were small and kept cold by putting a large block of ice in it. In the 50s, we added an electric version, twice as big. Now, we have a giant fridge plus a large freezer in the basement. Our families are half the size they used to be, but we can store four times as much food. Looks like blenders aren't the only reason Americans are heavier.

We've added all kinds of new devices. Microwaves. Breadmachines. Espresso makers (to sit next to the coffee maker). Smoothie makers (a specialized blender to sit next to the blender). Food processor (another specialized blender to sit next to the smoothie maker and the blender). Electric carving knives (to take the back-break out of carving). Dishwashers (heaven forbid we should put hot water in a sink and wash a dish by hand).

And I haven't even begun to list the entertainment machines used by everyone, not just kids.

Next time you complain that kids today have too many toys, remember your blender and your microwave and your giant fridge. Remember you have a dryer, and don't need to hang clothes outside (which is good. As housed got bigger, yards got smaller so there isn't any space to hang clothes anyway). Remember your dishwasher, microwave and giant TV. Thank the heavens you don't have to stir your own cake mix or knead your own bread. (I know I do).

And be thankful, we don't have to know how to churn butter or smelt our own bronze. I like my new toys.

Camping

It's camping season again. Did you hear the sigh? No, not really. I actually like camping. I just have two complaints, about our camping trips.

One: Look at the picture. Do you see sunny, cheery weather? Do you see swimsuit weather? No? No. You see stormy, lighthouse-ghost weather, expecting the gnarled old captain talking about a Nor-Wester.

In 2004, we stayed at Ocean Shores for three days. The first two days were stormy and miserable. Then, while we were packing up, the sun came out in great glory. The campsite was transformed into a wonderland... as we drove away.

In 2005, we stayed at Ocean Shores for three days. The first two days were cloudy and cold. Then, while we were packing up, the sun came out in great glory. The campsite was transformed into a wonderland... as we drove away. I shook my head.

In 2006, we stayed at Ocean Shores for three days. The first two days were rainy and cold. We spent some of our vacation at the laundromat, washing and drying wet, muddy kids' clothes. Then, while we were packing up, what do you think happened? Yes. The sun came out in great glory and the campsite was transformed and I was flabbergasted.

In 2007, we decided not to camp. All three days were the hottest days in years. The sun was magnificent across the state, even Ocean Shores.

In 2008, we are going to camp at Ocean Shores. Any bets on what the weather will be like?

Okay, and my second complaint about our camping... In the old days, when I would camp with friends or groups, we always went backpack camping. Now, we camp with a car. What's the difference? Okay, here we go...

Backpack camping: Everything you take, you have to carry. Packing the car means putting the backpack in the trunk. You are limited to one backpack per person. It has to be compact.

Car camping: We pack everything, including the kitchen sink. We don't set up camp, we construct camp. It isn't assembled. It is developed. The tent has two rooms. The kitchen area includes a two-burner stove, a plastic folding sink (a double-sink at that) and two boxes of food. There are four fold chairs, folding tables and enough lanterns to signal UFOs.

The entire day before we leave, we load up the car. Notice, we don't pack the car. We LOAD the car. A container is attached to the roof and filled up. Boxes and bags are filled and piled in back. A bicycle rack is strapped to the back of the car. An entire day of packing is followed by a day of driving. Then unloading and assembling this home-away-from-home. Exhausted, we sleep. We enjoy one relaxing day of camping (I actually like this part). Then, the third day, we disassemble this monolith to modern life, shove it all back into the trunk and strap it around the outside. Then we drive back and spend the night unloading and storing away the equipment for the next year.

It makes me long for the days of limited camping. When packing meant decisions concerning ounces. And loading the car took two minutes. Hmmm. Then again. Dinner had to be innovative, since you couldn't carry much. Breakfast was light and cold, so as not to waste fuel or waste time with a morning fire. Now, breakfast includes scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes and coffee. Dinner is substantial, in the comfort of an easy chair.

Okay, I guess car camping isn't all that bad.

Can't wait for the kids to be big enough to load the car for me, though.

What's that sound? The ocean? No. It's parents of teenagers, laughing at my last statement.

Just a bunch of talk

What insightful thing should I talk about today? What wondrous thought, or inspired idea can I bestow on you all?

Heck if I know. All I can think about is the dinner I had.

A Hamburger. Notice, if you will, that hamburger has a capital H. It wasn't a hamburger, it was a Hamburger. The store was out of the extra lean meat we normally get, so we had a less healthy, greasy burger. Mmmmm.

So, since the hamburger (sorry, Hamburger) was greasier than normal, I was able to fry a mess of onions in the grease. What's that? You think I should say I Sauteed the onions? No, for a good, heavy burger, you don't saute, you fry. In this case, they were fried with garlic. Ooooo boy.

Let's see, where was I? Oh yeah, a Juicy Burger, smothered onions fried in garlic, with melted Tillamook chedder cheese. I added a tomato and lettuce, spread on some miracle whip and topped it off with barbeque sauce.

My stomach is very happy with me.

My heart and arteries are cussing me out, but that's okay. My heart should just be happy I didn't include the fried egg I contemplated. Boy, let's talk about cholesterol.